It was Mother’s Day yesterday, and I got asked a special request (Read It Here).
My Mum used to write her own children’s stories. She’s been doing it since she was a teenager, and the most recent one I can think of was the story of Danny Two-Hats, who may or may not have been me, being sucked into his computer and having to fight giant Fish Cakes with rip-offs of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
It was awesome, and a great way to tell me to get off the computer.
This was a good few years ago now and sadly she can’t use a pen or a computer anymore. So it was a real surprise when she started laughing about this idea she’d had for a children’s book: a vampire princess who wears big boots.
Dad has read some of my writings to Mum before, so she decided to ask me to write a story about this vampire princess with her big boots. For a few days, I had to admit, I had no idea what I was being asked but it was making Mum crack up all the time and she was very excited to see it. I also thought she would like it to be written for her granddaughter and my niece, Lily, who’s 3 and a half years old at the time of writing this and very into princesses while being a pretty tough kid too.
Mum has a thing for vampires. Well, she has a thing for hunky men who also happen to be vampires. At the time of writing this she has fallen in love at times with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, the Twilight films, True Blood, Dark Shadows (with Johnny Depp of course) and loads more. Something about that punky style and handsome men really appeal to her, and millions of other ladies around the world.
Her pride and joy is her collection of photographs from David Boreanaz, the star of Angel, and James Marsters, Spike from the same show. She got the first one many years ago, when Dad drove her an hour away to a huge Buffy & Angel convention and paid a ridiculous amount of money for a single shot of Mum with the actor. At which point poor David Boreanaz spontaneously succumbed to the huge power of Sod’s Law and was struck with sleepiness for the one second at which the camera was capturing him.
Even if there was a convention in England now it’d be a challenge for Mum to go (that being said, we’re taking her to Disneyland in two months so Challenge doesn’t seem to be a word in my parents’ dictionary). Then, last Christmas, my amazing girlfriend Gem went to a convention in Adelaide that Spike was going to be at. She got a photograph signed for Mum and sent it all the way across the world. It sits proudly on my Mum’s smoking spot in the house.
It was all a bit convenient that I got asked a few days before Mother’s Day, I think that’s Mum’s cheeky side coming out again! Ha, brilliant I say! As you can tell by the vampire princess in the story, Mum loves a good tease.
Well, with all that said and done, I am proud to present mine and my Mum’s joint collaboration called Bite Me, a short story for young kids that hopefully won’t terrify them. Maybe best to check first. It rhymes and is funny, at least!